A couple of weeks ago I was at a rummage sale looking through a pile of about 100+ CDs. As the familiarity of the music represented in the pile became more and more obvious, I turned to the woman running the sale, and said, "Whoever owns these CDs.....we could have hung out and been friends, since back in the day we had the same exact taste in music."
Further conversation with the woman revealed that they had belonged to her son, who was a year younger than myself. Or would have been, as she revealed that he had committed suicide a few years ago. I told her I was sorry, etc., and quietly left with a Weezer CD for a buck.
But later I got to thinking about the music her son liked, at least as was represented by his leftover music collection, and decided that it was, for the most part, an incredibly sad and morbid collection. And I would know, since I had, essentially, the exact same collection of CD's (and still do.)
One very prominent presence among those CDs was The Smiths, as well as Morrissey (lead singer of The Smiths.) If you know even the smallest bit about them, then you know that "depressing" doesn't even begin to cover it. And still, to this day, I reminisce fondly upon the music of The Smiths and Morrissey.
For most of us Generation X'ers, our introduction to The Smiths was this:
"I am the son and heir of nothing in particular....There's a club if you'd like to go, you could meet somebody who really loves you - so you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry and you want to die.....I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does......" (How Soon Is Now)
However, in an odd way - even while the lyrics to "How Soon Is Now" are completely representational of The Smiths - the music is not. This is more the norm:
"And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die...well the pleasure, the privilege is mine....." (There Is a Light That Never Goes Out)
As great as The Smiths were, when the lead singer, Morrissey, went solo, that's when the music got even better (in my opinion). It was still depressing, but became hauntingly introspective, as well. This particular Morrissey song can still make me cry if I allow myself to get lost in it:
"This is the coastal town that they forgot to close down - come Armageddon come!....Everyday is like Sunday, everyday is silent and grey.....Hide on the promenade, etch a postcard, how I dearly wish I was not here....." (Everyday Is Like Sunday)
As an adult, I see now how utterly despairing the music of The Smiths and Morrissey was (not to mention clever and snarky). I can easily understand the influence it had on me during formative years: Some young people fight depression and angst, while others run to it and immerse themselves in it. I was the latter.
Sadly, I wonder if that man who committed suicide was too.
